10 Relationship Building Questions

July 12, 2014

“Hi Honey….Did you have a good day?” she asked.

“Yup.” He replied.

 

Whether we acknowledge it or not, most of us have a deep desire to be fulfilled and challenged by our partners, but dialogue can easily become stale after years of being in a relationship.  Luckily, there are many tools to help broaden your communication skills, and continue on a road to building a sound relationship house.

 

To help discover a deeper love for one another, we can learn to use “open ended” questions. These are questions that require anything other than a “yes or no” answer, but serve to gain a better understanding of situations, feelings, or thoughts of another person.

 

Ellie Lisitsa from the Gottman Institute puts it this way: “If you ask questions that require only a yes or no answer, you are destroying conversations before they even have a chance to begin. You are accidentally slamming the door that you are trying to open. This door is unfortunately labeled “Intimacy.”

 

So the next time you feel the urge to ask, “Do you want to go out?”, try something a little deeper: “What is your favorite thing to do in town together?”

 

Here are 10 other wonderful conversation starters:

 

What do you want your life to be like 3 years from now?

What things are missing in your life?

What do I do that makes you feel most loved?

How can I help you in the next few minutes?

What’s one thing that you appreciate about yourself today?

What’s the history behind that?

What’s one thing that made you proud of yourself today?

How were you able to manage your day?

When do you see us taking a getaway? Where? 

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As a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, a Gottman Method Couples Therapist, and a Canadian Certified Addiction Counsellor, I provide compassionate, confidential, non-judgemental, and insightful counselling services to individuals, couples, and families in Vernon, B.C.

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