When it comes to love and relationships, it seems like everyone has a slogan that makes for a long and lasting happiness. While some of these are rooted with good intentions, they might be taking your relationship into an unhealthy direction. Relationships are 50/50 While it’s important to be pulling your weight in a relationship, it becomes dangerous to start keeping score of who’s putting what in. There will be times when you have to give more than your loved one is able to
Boundaries are one of the most important aspects of healthy, mutually satisfying relationships. Simply put, boundaries define what is “me” and what “is not me”. They allow us to know who we are, and how we are different from others intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Here are some vital steps to begin to learn how to effectively set healthy boundaries: Get in touch with your feelings – It’s crucial to start with labeling the emotion. These uncomfortable
All too often, couples who are experiencing struggles in their relationship choose to not confront the situation causing issues. Resentments, back stories, unresolved past conflicts, defensiveness (just to name a few) all play a part in keeping the relationship in an unhealthy state. Yes, conflicts are difficult, but being able to manage them and learn to communicate effectively and lovingly is essential for long term stability. Here are some healthy ways to begin the mend!
In a prior blog post, I wrote about addiction as a family disease, and how important it is for family members to reach out and look after themselves during a time of chaos. This chaos, of course, isn’t just specific to addiction. Codependency is a term used when we find ourselves ignoring our own happiness and well-being – and placing other’s ahead of our own. Sometimes it can be described as “walking on eggshells”; It’s that state where we are so concerned of other’s reactio
“Act without Expectation”. It’s a quote from long ago, but what exactly does this accomplish? Some have suggested that by letting go of outcomes, you will never be disappointed. The truth is, it’s not for us to expect others to do what we wish, but to look at our own feelings and needs – to find a healthy way to communicate these things in a way that allows others to choose for themselves. After all, it’s ok to expect the best for ourselves. It’s not ok to expect others to
“I” statements are a wonderful means of communicating because they maintain a respectful attitude toward the receiver while enabling you to say how it is on your side. In healthy two-way communication, practicing these statements not only helps your assertiveness, but also increases your self-confidence in the process. First, to properly grasp the benefits of using “I” Statements, it would be best to examine the opposite “You” statements: You didn’t… You never… You haven’t…
“Hi Honey….Did you have a good day?” she asked. “Yup.” He replied. Whether we acknowledge it or not, most of us have a deep desire to be fulfilled and challenged by our partners, but dialogue can easily become stale after years of being in a relationship. Luckily, there are many tools to help broaden your communication skills, and continue on a road to building a sound relationship house. To help discover a deeper love for one another, we can learn to use “open ended” questi
A running joke about Canadians is our eagerness to apologize. By the way, I’m sorry if that stereotype offended anyone. It was never meant to – oh. Now I’m trying to make excuses. Sorry. Apologies within a relationship can take on a whole new challenge. Often we find ourselves apologizing “that you feel that way”, or, “I’m sorry, but you always….” How often do these work in straightening out disagreements? Unfortunately, not often. In fact, they can make things much worse. T